In what’s not so much a ‘based on a true story’, rather a ‘hey, what if THIS happened instead?’, ‘Cocaine Bear’ is everything the title suggests; a silly, ruthless, occasionally sick but unavoidably hilarious story about a furry, frothing, ferocious bear gone crazy after discovering nose candy. And yes, there IS some truth in this thing….but let’s set the record straight right off the bat.
Here are the real life facts; there was a small plane flying over the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest in September of 1985. Aboard the craft was a drug runner, his accomplice, and a massive amount of cocaine. For some reason, most likely the fact that the plane would’ve been dangerously weighted down due to its cargo, numerous bricks of cocaine were tossed out of the hatch. Then, likely because that didn’t solve the problem, the drug runner jumped out of the plane with a parachute – which, as bad luck would have it, failed to open – and he was killed. Later that same year, in December, officials found a number of the lost packages torn apart and, not far from that scene, they also discovered the body of a black bear. Crime lab examiners determined that the animal’s stomach was packed with the drug, and, not surprisingly, it killed her.
But what if it didn’t?
And there you have ‘Cocaine Bear’, a horror-comedy that follows a bear that gets addicted to cocaine and instantly becomes the most unstoppable killing machine a national forest has ever witnessed.
What makes the movie a gem is actor-turned-director Elizabeth Banks’ brilliant understanding of what makes your basic ’80s movie tick. Because, despite being released in 2023, ‘Cocaine Bear’ IS an eighties movie….from the ridiculous assortment of cookie cutter characters (there are nervous ‘fixers’, a cartoonish mob boss played by Ray Liotta in his last role, a bumbling park ranger, a couple of middle school kids who appear to have wandered directly off the set of ‘Stranger Things’, etc., etc.) to the synthesizer music of the era, and of course, the overly graphic bear attacks, designed to be so outlandishly grotesque that you’re not really going to be traumatized. Rather, maniacal giggles are inevitable.
In short, it’s a roller coaster ride. With a bear. And cocaine. Lots and lots of cocaine.
‘Cocaine Bear’ doesn’t only sport the best title of a movie since ‘Snakes On A Plane’, it’s the finest example of a guilty pleasure in years.
(* Warning a few bloody limbs and bad language in trailer above. Oh, and a lot of cocaine.)
